Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Talking therapy

Myth: Ignoring my pain will make it go away

Myth: People do not want to hear about my sad story

Myth: Talking about it will only make things worse

Fact: Talking about your adoption with close friends helps you heal and deal with your grief.

I am a HUGE advocate of talking! You know when there is the feeling of having that huge elephant in the room? Yeah, I hate that. You sit there wondering but you just don't know how to ask. Or you want to share your adoption story or how you are feeling but you don't know how the other person will take it. So instead you sit there quietly feeling a bit sad about your unmet desire to share your burdens with another person.

In the last post by Meg, she mentioned that talking really helped her to heal. I AGREE! After I placed B, I talked with anyone who would listen and who I felt safe sharing my precious story with. I think that was a huge help! Talking to my close friends about my sweet little baby was kind of a cathartic therapy for me.

It brought that little baby who grew under my heart and who's heart beat was once in sync with mine but whom now I only knew from pictures to life. He was my greatest sense of joy and sharing stories about him kept me from having to box that joy up and put it on a dusty shelf. What a tragedy for those who feel they need to do that. That is the true loss.

This week I under went another dose of talking therapy and I feel my heart mended a little bit more. I was talking to my best friend of 15 years. Apparently I did not share my earth shattering moment from last December with her, so I filled her in. I did not hold back and she did not say a word. I told her about my grief and my fears. Then I told her about my realizations and my progress. What a blessing it is to have friends who just listen and love you. Thanks Cat!

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