Happy adoption awareness month!!!
The month of November is adoption awareness month.
I wrote the first two sentences above fulling intending to write more like them to excite and build up this National Adoption Awareness month. Then, as I all too often do, I became distracted and randomly decided to take a blogging break to surf the web. As I was perusing the WWW looking for articles or videos about this month of national awareness I came across an article entitled, "Why This Birth Mother Will Not Be Celebrating Adoption Awareness Month". I originally thought it would be one of those adoption bashing blogs written by a birth mother who was feeling particularly bitter about her situation. I was wrong. Although I do not agree with some of the generalizations she makes in the article, it did make me think. She brought up good points, and I am a little embarrassed to say I Deborah Diane, a birth mother, over looked the fact that this month is possibly a hard month for many people.
It can be a hard month as pointed out by the author of that article for birth mothers (and let's not forget birth fathers) as they are reminded of their loss, but it can also potentially be a hard month for perspective adoptive parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees. Then I think about the birth families involved too. Like the birth grandparents and aunts and uncles. After thinking about all those who could be hurting during this month I am feeling much more solemn.
The author of the article made a suggestion that I think I will take. She said,
"I can’t celebrate the thing that cause me the greatest pain and loss in my life.....
....And while I can understand that for many people adoption is cause for celebration because it brought something good to their lives, the fact is that ALL adoption is somewhere, someplace, somehow resting on a foundation of loss. That’s not a cause to celebrate. It’s a cause to honor. One honors a loss; one does not celebrate it."
I hope that is not to somber of a quote to add, but the fact is it is true. In adoption there usually is some sense of loss for everyone involved. I DO think that adoption can be a cause for celebration. It IS a wonderful thing that can bring about great JOY. As I have gone through my adoption experience I have chosen not to focus on loss. It is healthy to recognize it is there, however I fully believe that people see what they are looking for. When that pain you feel is so great it is hard to think of anything else. If loss in adoption is what you focus on then that is all you are going to see.
With all that in mind, this month I am going to change the focus of my blog. When I read what Claudia had to say about adoption awareness month I felt like I was stopped dead in my tracks. I was about to go down that path of celebration and talk of how absolutely wonderful and hunky dory adoption is. I was about to over look the very group of people who I am a part of. As I saw down the way I planned to go, I recognized it was a bit superficial. But not any more. I am going to make the posts this month a little more real. I do not plan to focus on the loss in adoption but I will not ignore it either. Rather then making my blog about celebrating adoption, I will be real. I will remember all members of the triad, and I will HONOR adoption.
Happy adoption blogging everyone! See you tomorrow.