Thursday, February 2, 2012


The R house is a blog that I stalk pretty regularly. The R family just had an adoption plan not go through. (I hate saying failed adoption). Many of her posts recently has struck cords in my heart and even brought me to tears. Last week it was this one: Hope offers peace and perspective.

In it she shares about the strength she received from her dad after she found out their adoption plan ended. Because I have not asked for her permission I wont quote it but GO READ it! Especially the last three paragraphs. I wholeheartedly agree!

Every child needs a father. One who she can count on. One who she knows would do anything for her. One who she can turn to for strength, for advice, for a shoulder to cry on, or for rescue. One who will embarrass her to high heaven when he pulls up behind her car in the wee hours of the morning, throw her boyfriend out of it, follow her as she drives home and not feel bad about it one bit. One who even though his daughter swears he is ruining her life, he ruins it anyway because he knows one day she will be grateful.......Thank you daddy.

Obviously Mrs. R's much more eloquent words made me think of my own father.

Everything she said applies to my daddy. I know his heart hurts when mine is hurting and he knows what I need even when I don't. I have never once doubted his love for me. No matter what, daddy always comes to the rescue.

I have a horrible habit of running out of gas or leaving my lights on. About a month ago I was picking my friend Amy up from the airport and we made a quick stop at Toys-R-US before heading home. We returned with our bag full of silly puddy and koosh balls to find a completely dead car. I decided to refrain from calling my parents and find some good Samaritan to jump me. I didn't call my parents because I am in my mid twenties for goodness sakes! AKA I'm a big girl now......and I had already called them to come rescue me at least 3 (maybe 4) times that month. Amy and I decided first we would treat ourselves to the nicest dinner within walking distance. While we were waiting for our food at the Macaroni Grill I called my mother to let her know not to plan on us for dinner. My father answered and listened to me explain our predicament. Then said, "Well you know Deborah, there is one person who loves you unconditionally and who is happy to come help you. Do you know who that might be?" And then he was on his way. After my engine was purring like normal a passer by said, "thank goodness for dads" Amen to that!

 One last story about my dad and then I will be done. One of the most precious moments I have ever had with my father was on placement day. The two days I spent in the hospital with B was a whirlwind of visitors and flowers. It all seemed so surreal to me. I was in a cloud of happiness and adrenaline from just delivering a baby. What I was about to do really didn't set in until the night before placement. That night deserves a post all of it's own. Frankly so does the placement. That day I woke up and got myself ready. My family came to my hospital room, we took pictures, I signed the papers, and then it came time. I remember everyone leaving the room. I needed a moment with my son. As they left I held B and began to cry, fighting to get enough strength to let him go.  And then the next thing I knew my father was holding me with tears rolling down his cheeks. I was immediately grateful for those arms that were supporting me and holding me up like they always have. This day was when I truly learned that a father's heart breaks when his child's heart is breaking. I will always remember the feeling I felt as my father held me, his child and I held my own, and we wept. I needed him then. I needed his strength. Thank goodness for dads.

Every child needs a father.


Michele said...

What a beautiful post, especially the last paragraph.

BumbersBumblings said...

absolutely beautiful!! Every girl needs a daddy like this :)

Chris, Dana and Addison: Hoping to Grow through Open Adoption said...

What a wonderful post! I also have an amazing Dad, so this really touched my heart:) Thank you for also pointing us to The R House. What an example they are to us all. Thank you!

Alli & Davin said...

I also had an amazing father. He passed away about 8 months before I learned that I was pregnant. Because I had lived with and without a father, I knew very well the importance of a father in a little girls life. That is was a large part of the reason I chose to place. I'm glad you have a great Dad!

ESN said...

I too have an awesome Dad.
And I am so grateful for men like your Dad who are willing to not only play back-up for their own children but for the children of others as well. What a great example of love your Father is.

UT said...

I'm afraid I forgot many of the things that happened that day and I know that I didn't know what what you were feeling in your heart. Thank you for remembering those moments and letting me reflect. The one thing that I will never forget is how felt for you. My love for you grew in ways that I never thought I could, in dimensions I didn't know existed. I think of the rich music of a cello, full of overtones, one layered on top of another. I will always love you.